This text was originally published on my former blog typeoneminimalist.com. The website has been offline since 2020. This is an archive version.

Life can be a lot. Sometimes too much. Sometimes we get lost in possibilities and actions. Sometimes we feel overwhelmed. Let’s take one step back.

Saying no is hard. Not just when it comes to friends or events but also when it comes to opportunities. It makes us feel like we’re missing out on something. And sometimes, we forget that time is limited. We can’t take on anything. Nonetheless, many of us try maxing out every opportunity they get. Writing for four websites and a news outlet while studying? Why the hell not, I thought during the last year. Now, all I’m asking myself is why the hell I did that. On the other hand, how should I have questioned this path? I’ve met great people and crafted things I’m still proud of. I also sacrificed hours of sleep and leisure time. To be honest, I just felt like this was the norm. The feeling of constantly being overwhelmed not knowing how to deal with it was there – I simply ignored it. Because that’s normal, right? No. Not really.

Think of your life as a car – and every responsibility you take on as a box of weight you put into that car. Initially, when you’re a child, this car is empty. It can move around quickly, uses very little gas and never breaks down. As life continues, the car begins to fill up. School, jobs, university and relationships and other commitments begin to stow it – and as the baggage keeps growing, the car becomes harder and harder to steer. With more weight on its seats, it can’t move as quickly anymore as it ones could. Steering becomes harder, braking distances longer. And whenever the car runs over a big obstacle, the shock absorbers are at risk of breaking. The more weight the car takes on, the more serious these issues become. And once the weight limit is exceeded, a breakdown is inevitable.

Deliberate overload

What opened my eyes to the need for setting priorities ironically was yet another opportunity. One that sounded perfect for me, one that I could never reject – and possibly one of the best of my life so far. I should’ve been the happiest person on earth after the conversation which brought me into it. However, I spent three hours in a Café and crushed my mind about how the fuck I should fit this into my life instead. I even called a friend about it which was something I had never felt the urge to do before.

Focus and clear priorities are so damn important in life. Somehow, we forget that. No-one can balance everything for a longer time-period. We neither have the time nor the energy for it. Yet, we’re tempted to do it. Because that extra job, that extra certificate would sound great on your résumé, wouldn’t it? But is it worth it? How many sacrifices are we supposed to make in order become a “worthy part of society”? In a time where entrance-level jobs with entrance-level salaries require two years of work experience, aren’t we forced into this kind of thinking? I honestly think we are. We’re taught to never feel “enough” – that we always have to squeeze in that very last bit of effort. No wonder many of us deliberately overload our lives. I think it’s time to take a step back. Because what’s the point of all of this? Is constantly steering around a sluggish automotive on the edge of breaking down really worth it?

Intentional priorities

Facing all of these hardships, great questions arise: How to create and keep focus? How to intentionally set priorities? As I see it, life consists of three types of commitments: Income-related liabilities, self-realisation and relationships. Ideally, your income goes hand-in-hand with self-realisation – but we all know that isn’t always realistic. And doesn’t change the fact that financial security is necessary. Good and deep relationships are mandatory too. Life without good relationships will be quite depressing. Thus, we should and need to make time for it. How much that is, really depends on the person. Thirdly, there’s the big category of self-realisation which includes everything from your studies to your professional goals to any voluntary activities. That’s the category we can work with most. That’s where we can decide on what we want to spend how much time.

A good strategy to intentionally set priorities in this regard is to think about the bigger picture of the life you want to live. Would you like to work on many smaller projects – be it professionally or personally – or would you like to become an expert in one particular field? What would you like to contribute to society? How much do your current activities align with those goals? It might be the case that all of your commitments are somehow related to whatever you want to achieve. But some are more significant than others. Some will bring you ten steps closer to your goal while others will only take you one step further. That’s where we need to make important decisions. In the long run, a handful of significant commitments will take you further than a wide range of smaller ones.

Setting those priorities often means saying “no” to interesting opportunities – or even scarier, quitting current commitments. Deciding on taking actions like this will raise doubtful questions like “Was it the right choice?”. Well, yes, it was. It means that you’ve realised what’s important to you and that you’ve grown as a person. It means that you’ve found part of your mission. Besides that, all of those actions lead to better focus and a less stressful life. You’re not constantly torn back and forth between different commitments anymore. And that makes a huge difference.

The essence

When I started this blog, I had the principle of materialist minimalism in mind. I wanted to make people’s life a bit less overwhelming by promoting a mindset that focusses on the essentials. Over the past year or so, I’ve realised that this concept applies to everything beyond the physical too. Today’s world is not only cluttered with physical items but also with counterproductive ideals of success. We’re urged to maximise every aspect of our lives. But what for? To end up in endless exhaustion? I don’t think that’s what life is about.

I like the way the writer and architect Frank Lloyd Wright concluded it almost one-hundred years ago: “Less is more only when more is too much.” So let’s take a few steps back – and focus on the things that really matter.